Vipassana Retreat Review: Breakthroughs, Barriers, and a Call for Change

I’ve waited 4 months before writing this review, so I could integrate and reflect on the experience.

As a practiced meditator, I was very excited to finally attend a 10-day Vipassana silent retreat. I had researched it for years and originally planned to go in 2020, but of course the pandemic delayed that. I decided 2025 was the right time. I felt grounded, prepared for a deep inner journey, and absolutely loved the experience for the first 6 days.

The night of Day 6 everything shifted. I barely slept—maybe an hour at most—and with that restlessness, my mind began to wander. I tried returning to my Anapana meditation to quiet it, which helped, but I kept receiving a strong inner message—perhaps more from my heart than my mind—that I needed to be honest.

In his discourses, S.N. Goenka speaks often about the importance of honesty. The truth was, I hadn’t fully disclosed on my intake form that I’d had a past experience with spontaneous altered states and had been hospitalized. This is something I have since healed and integrated through years of study and practice with yoga and other modalities. Still, I felt I needed to share it.

So on Day 7, I told the teachers. I wasn’t thinking about how they might react—I just felt deeply that it was the right thing to do. Their response shocked me: they said I had to leave immediately. Pack up my things and go.

I resisted. I didn’t want my retreat to end at 7 days. I asked if I could at least rest that day (since I hadn’t slept the night before) and stay for the evening discourse—I had been really enjoying those (luckily, I later found them all on YouTube). But they said no, I had to leave at the next group sit.

When the time came, I quietly went into the hall and sat at my spot as usual. A volunteer asked me to leave, I resisted, and they persisted. Not wanting to disrupt others, I eventually left. They walked me back to my room and told me again to pack up. I sat on the floor and said I wanted to meditate. They didn’t seem to understand what I was doing: a peaceful act of resistance.

I wasn’t trying to be difficult—I wanted to make a point. I felt stigmatized based on my past, not my present. No one asked me how I was feeling, what my state of mind was, or whether I was safe. They simply told me to drive home—a six-hour drive—while sleep-deprived. That, to me, was both careless and dangerous.

I continued my peaceful resistance, hoping they would eventually call one of my two emergency contacts listed on the long intake form. Instead, they called the police.

The police took me to a hospital, where I was placed in solitary confinement in a locked room with only a bed. It wasn’t until the police returned to their headquarters that they finally called my partner. The meditation centre never contacted him or my dad (my second emergency contact) directly, even though their numbers were on file. And to this day, four months later, I haven’t received a single call or email from the centre checking in on me.

I share this boldly and truthfully so you know what to expect. I understand the centre is volunteer-run, but applying even the basic compassion and wisdom that Goenka teaches would have easily prevented this situation. Their approach was not trauma-informed, lacked care and was carceral.

Another major issue is that these centres offer no integration support afterward. Without strong external supports (mentors, therapists, trusted friends on a similar path), the experience can be very destabilizing for some.

That said, the practice itself was incredible. Even within 7 days, I experienced powerful breakthroughs. What Goenka describes in his discourses as things one might encounter later, I experienced as early as Day 1. Being practiced, in tune with my body, and ready to go deep, I received exactly what I needed. His teachings, while dated in language, are profound and transformative.

But I would never attend one of these centres again. The volunteers I encountered lacked the compassion and understanding necessary to embody the teachings they represent. In my view, you are better off practicing Vipassana on your own, in a cabin in the woods, following the same structure. The discourses are available on YouTube, and most of the chants can be found on Spotify